The Missing Element in Valentine's Day Posts

As we head into the week of Valentine's Day, I find myself irked once again by a common element lacking in nearly every post I read on the subject. No one mentions love languages.

That's a fairly glaring oversight in a holiday devoted to love, wouldn't you agree?

Personally, I think The Five Love Languages should be taught to children the same way the four food groups used to be. (Don't me started on the current “my pyramid” nonsense.) 

(If you haven't read The FiveLove Languages, please make the time - as soon as you possibly can. It's worth owning, but I'm sure your library has a copy. It's not a long book or a hard read, but it will change how you see the world.) 

If you're not familiar with the book, it's message is pretty simple; the are 5 distinct ways that people give/receive love:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Physical touch
3. Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Quality time

Everyone has a primary and secondary “love language”; we're each born with our own combination of hard wired into us. As a result, we both demonstrate love and recognize it being demonstrated to us through two of those five languages. But when two people have entirely different love languages, the stage is set for a serious disconnect and a lot of hurt feelings. 

You can gush love for someone in the languages that shout love to you all you want, but to truly love someone well, you have to speak their love language. It's not as easy as it sounds - there can be a steep and often frustrating learning curve to adopt new habits and new awarenesses. But it is so worth it!

So before you whip off one of those cute, creative projects cluttering the internet this week, stop and ask yourself if it really lines up with your Valentine's love languages. You may not get the answer you want, but there's no better gift you can give your other half than thoughtfully and intentionally speaking their language!