Excersizes in Futility

I've suspected for some time now that state governments have a secret bargain with Murphy. 

You know... the one behind Murphy's Law?

That suspicion was 100% confirmed yesterday morning on what should have been a simple errand: replace my long-missing social security card.

In an attempt to make the task as painless as possible, I took a number of steps in advance to smooth the way.

1. I looked up the website, printed out and fully completed the necessary form.
2. I called the office, verifying directions and what documentation I ought to bring.
3. I planned the trip for a day when my husband could go with me. (I'm not a fan of driving downtown by myself.)
4. We left the house 15 minutes before the office opened, planning to arrive bright and early to avoid lines and delays.

Do you think that any of this helped at all? Of course not.

The GPS told us we had "reached our destination" in the middle of a road with nothing on either side. Asking for directions en route (twice) got us to the correct building, although we never did figure out how to get to the free parking lot supposedly available behind the building. (God forbid someone just point out that it's in the giant, blatantly labeled Lotto building which anyone could find with ease!)

After waiting patiently to be called and wondering with slight annoyance why the office had a useless, expensive digital sign inside advertising it's hours (which anyone who had managed to find it and get inside clearly already knew), it was our turn to go talk to the nice lady behind the multiple layers of bullet proof glass.

I handed over my paperwork, agreed to tell the truth under penalty of perjury charges, and hit a brick wall. Because I haven't had a card issued since my marriage, it constituted a name change rather than just a card re-issuance. Thus, I needed my marriage license... facts they failed to tell me when I'd called previously.

To top things off, the woman completely blew me off when I explained that the marriage certificate I was issued does not have my married name on it, only my maiden name. The town clerk who issued it has refused to issue a new one because she swears I can legally go by either surname at my sole discretion and therefore the document I have is sufficient.

Only it's obviously not. And the woman at the Social Security Administration insisted that I just didn't know what I was talking about because she "sees marriage certificates every day".

At this point, we just left because if we stayed I would probably have punched someone. Yes, I know. Not very Christian or ladylike. But we'd wasted over an hour and had nothing but headaches to show for it.

Later, when we'd eaten and unwound a little bit, my husband asked what I wanted to do about the situation. I told him they can all go screw themselves. I've gone ten years without a card and I can keep going without one for another ten years. If someone wants one for something, they can figure out an alternative. I'm not wasting another minute of my life on pointless bureaucracy.

Some days I really wish the zombie apocalypse would just come already. Obliterate all the insane mountains of red tape and idiocy our country is drowning under and let us start over with common sense and respect. Anybody with me?

Quick, Easy Cookies

We don't eat a lot of cookies around here. Partly because cookies lend themselves much more poorly to our low-sugar eating habits than other forms of dessert and partly because we already use copious amounts of butter and I cringe to sacrifice another whole stick to a single recipe.

Possibly the fact that cookies are addictive and don't last very long also plays a role...

Either way, I was craving something sweet a couple weeks ago but just wanted a little something. Not too sweet, not too much. So I scrounged around my kitchen and threw together some super-simple cinnamon cookies with two ingredients: phyllo dough and cinnamon sugar.

Just cut your phyllo into small sticks and lay them on a cookie sheet. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar and pop in the oven for about 10 min at 400* (time may vary slightly depending on your oven). They get light, puffy and little crispy and the sugar topping makes them just sweet enough.

These worked out really well for me, and I think I'm going to tuck this 'recipe' (such as it is) away for future reference. I think it would be great to make for something fun like a high tea or as a last-minute option when something comes up.

(Note: my apologies to everyone eating GF. It appears there is no GF phyllo unless you make your own, which kind of kills the whole fast-and-easy aspect... which was the point. Sorry!)

Accidetal Elite-ism

Remember this picture? It's from this post.

(Yes, I know. My picture taking skills are unimpressive. That's beside the point.)

That is my French Press. I bought it last year in a preparedness fit because it happens to be a sure-fire way of making coffee in any eventuality. Boil water, pour over grounds, wait two minutes, then slowly depress the knob on top. Voila! Flawless coffee every time. (Unless of course you can't boil water, in which it doesn't matter since you'll probably be dead soon anyway. *ahem*)

The irony of that purchase is that everyone else I know with a French Press bought it because they are a coffee snob (which I mean in an entirely positive way - I'm all in favor of eating only quality, truly enjoyable food). Years ago already French Presses became the rage among coffee gurus because they brew an alluringly smooth and strong cup of delectability.

Despite pulling the Press out for special occasions, I kept using my trusty four- cup Mr. Coffee every morning out of habit. I bought that thing back in college and it still works faithfully! Or at least it did... until the local stores stopped carrying filters for it.  Apparently, the general logic is that either people make entire pots of coffee (8-12 cups) or they've given in to the combined forces of Starbucks and Keureg.

Either way, I announced to Eric about two weeks ago that we were now accidental elitists. The Mr. Coffee is being given away, and we have been enjoying our suddenly gourmet level brew ever since.

It feels decadent to actually pay attention to making my coffee every morning, and I certainly enjoy it more. I can't help but smile every time, though, remembering that if it weren't for the burning desire to be prepared for the coming Zombie apocalypse I would never have bought this little treasure in the first place.

If you're at a loss for good presents to tack onto your Christmas list this year or if you know anyone who'd rather be eaten by Zombies than go without their coffee, considering adding a French Press to your list!

Take Out... The Whole Foods Way

We've largely given up on eating out around here. The service is lacking and almost all the food is made with processed crap, white flour and tons of sugar. In fact, we always feel the after effects if we try to eat out.

Fortunately, my library system has a bazillion cookbooks and my husband is generous with my experimentation. (He's actually pretty good at cooking for himself when he needs to.)

On a whim, I picked up The Take-Out Menu Cookbook from the library. Imagine my surprise when I flipped it open and discovered that not only will it save you tons of money in not eating out - the authors went the extra step and used all real, whole-food ingredients!

If you read cookbooks at all, you know this is a rare and wonderful event. No working out substitutions in your head and hoping to approximate the new recipe because it's already done for you. Recipes made with things you likely already have in the house!

If you're looking for something different, or struggling with giving up some of your favorite restaurants for health or budgetary reasons give this a try. I guarantee you'll come away with at least a few recipes that prove to be worth their weight in gold!

Women of Faith

It's been years now since I darkened the door of a church. Although I was raised as a church kid, getting into the food service industry pretty much wrecked my habit of attending. It was just impossible to go consistently around the mandate to work Sundays. Crazy hours the rest of the week prevented me from making connections and building friendships at non-Sunday opportunities like small groups, a Bible study or ladies' book club. (Moving every year or two didn't help either, I suppose.)

All excuses aside, it's safe to say that beyond what's happening online and the faith-based books I read/ review from Thomas Nelson via BookSneeze, I'm rather behind on the big names and big news in the Faith World.

So it's with a little trepidation and a little excitement that I am making plans to attend this year's Women of Faith Conference in Rochester, NY. (Nov. 4th &5th)

I confess I'm excited about Angie Smith and Natalie Grant being there - big fan of both those ladies! (Have you seen Angie over at Bloom and (in)Courage recently?) I'm also considering this a personal challenge to step outside my comfort zone and beyond my status quo. I'm not sure what I'll find, but I'm expecting it to be good!

Are you attending a WOF Conference this year? They're holding events all over the country, so see if there's one near you.

If you're headed to the Rochester event, I'd love to hear from you! How awesome would it be to head to the event already knowing there were beautiful, awesome ladies to meet and hang out with!?

Been to a WOF event before? Leave me some pointers! 

Either way, I'll do a post-event review up here so check back to see how to goes!

Quick Pic

Behold - my Labyrinth quilt top! I'm SO excited!

It still needs a couple borders around the edges before it's ready to be quilted (one of them being the same blue color that's in the middle), but I was rather nervous about pulling this pattern off and had to share my delight that it worked!  :0)

(If it looks huge, it's because it is... and if it doesn't look huge, it should! Queen size... because why would I practice an intimidating new pattern on anything small and easy first? Lol.)

(Many thanks to my favorite quilt shop Joyful Quilter for holding a five hour class last Friday to demo how the technique worked!)

Redrawing the Line

I haven't been in a Toys R Us (or any other toy store) for years. Not because there's a lack of little people (or not so little people, for that matter) in my life for which I'd like to buy toys, but rather that toy stores seem to have given up carrying anything I can identify as a toy. Everything on the overflowing shelves is branded – an extension of some over-marketed, brain-draining tv show, video game or social media fad. Most of what is being direct-sold to today's children is desensitizing, morally degrading and educationally bankrupt.

It was an article on that theme that introduced me to Peggy Orenstein. Her clear writing voice and obvious personal investment in her topic drew me in so, despite her noticeably feminist leanings, I picked up a copy of her book Cinderella Ate My Daughter from the local library.

It proceeded to completely consume my brain for several days. Not, perhaps, in the way the author intended, however.

Although Ms. Orenstein has a wonderful writing style, contagious passion and some excellent points to make, something else entirely stood out to me: the futility of trying to redraw the line.

In her corner of California, Ms. Orenstein is surrounded by fellow liberals and feminists (not my judgment – she says as much). Over the course of her book, they all slowly and agonizingly give themselves ulcers measuring and re-measuring their every decision against the vague, precipitous standards of feminist theology. They want the best for their children – everyone does. But as adults and more specifically as parents, they are terribly, terribly lost in the world of shifting sands that they have created. How do you lead someone else when you have no solid guideposts yourself?

The same idea resurfaces in shifting forms and across examples throughout the book: where is the line? We all feel sick disgust watching Toddlers & Tiaras because we inherently know that it's wrong. Righteous anger flares when we see middle schoolers dressing like tramps and trashy, moral-destroying movies pitched to kids. We examine complicated issues like social media use and educational curricula critically, but struggle to find any answers because we've moved the line, but cannot figure out how to redraw it.

Whether you're Christian or not, you have to admit that when God laid down the standards by which mankind should live, He did a really good job. 

Seriously, think about it. Can anyone argue that waiting until marriage to have sex is a safe, wise plan? Have you ever met anyone who was harmed or degraded by following that standard?

How about Titus 2 or Proverbs 31 as standards for what women should seek to be? Have you ever met a Titus 2 or Proverbs 31 woman and said to yourself “wow, what a doormat”? Of course not! Kindness, good work ethic, respect for others, good judgment, strong communication skills, self-confidence – these are things we all want for our daughters!

When women like Ms. Orenstein and her compatriots buy into the lie that everything traditional is bad and repressive, they automatically toss out the very standards and guidelines they need to shape the kind of powerful, beautiful and confident girls they want to raise.

One cannot create something beautiful without consistent, intentional shaping and vision for what the end result should look like. The standards by which humans build solid connections and successful lives do not change just because some people, like a resentful teenagers, want to disobey them solely for the perverse pleasure of spiting authority. 

Though Orenstein has searched the world over and tried to maintain a positive tone, one cannot leave her work without clearly understanding the message she did not intend to send: the line cannot be arbitrarily redrawn.

The chilling question then becomes: are we willing to sacrifice a generation of children on the altar of our spite rather than humble ourselves and accept the gift of wisdom freely given to us so long ago?

For all our sakes, I hope not.