That Word... I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

Buckets of Apples. A form of fruit... which contains carbs.

At some point, you are going to see a post (or a series of posts) on the Palimpsest blog about carbs. This (entirely true, non-embellished) story of an encounter I had at work yesterday exemplifies the reason why. Just so you know.

Background: we had had a crazy morning at work, full of drama. It was just shy of lunch time and I'd about maxed out my 'peopling' quota for the day. This lady came in with her son. She was wearing giant, dark sunglasses, which she made no attempt to remove, even though she clearly couldn't see anything with them on inside because she kept angling her head in weird directions to look over and around them. I took the son's order, and then politely asked what I can get for the lady. The conversation followed like this:

Customer: Do you have those yogurt parfaits?

[Editorial note: parfaits contain greek yogurt, honey, granola, strawberries and blueberries.] 

Me: Just the one right here. [In the ice bin on the counter, which she'd have been able to see if she took off her glasses.]

Customer: Oh, I can wait while you make more.

Me: I'm sorry, that's not something we can do right now. We have none of the product prepped and no one available to do it. Can I get you something else?

Customer: Oh, you're sure you can't make any?

Me: No, I'm sorry, we really can't. We have this one, but we just can't get any others made right now.

[Editoral note: I wasn't lying. We had no prep people available, both managers were up to their eyeballs in other things, I was the only one in bakery, and there really wasn't anything even slightly prepped.]

Customer: Well, do you have anything else with fruit in it?

Me: Sure, we have these fruit cups [right in the ice bin next to the parfait, which, as mentioned above, she apparently couldn't see], or steel cut oatmeal with fruit in it.

[We talk about the oatmeal options and she decides to go with the one containing strawberries. I ring her out, she walks away. Two minutes later, as they're finishing up her order and I'm trying to stock, she reappears.]

Me: Did we forget something?

Customer: Is it too late to cancel that oatmeal? I'd rather have the fruit cup instead.

Me: Sure. No problem. Here's the fruit cup, let me grab you some silverware. [Tells the line to nix the already-made oatmeal and gets the customer squared away.]

Customer: Thanks. I just really wanted something with no carbs, you know?

Me: Nods. Smiles. Valiantly avoids screaming, weeping, and shaking anyone.

NO CARBS...!!!

Because clearly the granola-and-honey-containing parfait had no carbs (47g, plus 33g of sugar!). Nor did the fruit cup (17g plus 12g of sugar).

And fruit, the one component she focused on all along, as a rule contains almost no protein or fat... which means by default is has to be almost entirely carbs/sugar and water!!

I seriously spent the rest of the shift scratching my head, trying to figure out where she could have gotten the idea that she needed to not eat carbs... but also somehow managed to come away with absolutely no comprehension at all what carbs are, or what kinds of foods they're in. 

Some days, I don't even know, you guys...